There’s a relational pattern most of us don’t notice—it’s not just conflict, it’s distance.
Someone rubs you the wrong way, says or does something you disagree with, or disappoints you, and over time you quietly pull back. Everything still looks fine on the outside… but something has shifted in how you love.
We tell ourselves, “Some people are just hard to love.” And that’s true. Including me, at times.
But Jesus doesn’t let us stop loving people when they are difficult… including me.
On the night before the cross, in a room full of imperfect, frustrating, and even failing people, Jesus didn’t pull away—He moved toward them. He knelt down, served them by washing their feet, and loved them to the end [John 13:1].
Then He gave a command that still confronts and challenges us today:
“Love one another. Just as I have loved you…” [John 13:34–35]
This is not just a command—it’s a calling shaped by His love and example.
We Love Because He First Loved Us
Before we can love like Jesus, we must first be loved by Jesus. We cannot give what we have not received.
In John 13, Jesus didn’t just command love—He demonstrated it. He knelt down and washed His disciples’ feet… knowing their pride, their weakness, and even Judas’ betrayal.
He loved them to the end [v. 1].
What Love Looks Like in Real Life
The New Testament gives us clear, practical ways to love one another. But these are not just behaviors to imitate—they are responses to the love we’ve received in Jesus Christ:
- Serve on another [John 13:14] — because Christ served you and given you an example
- Accept one another [Romans 15:7] — because Christ accepted you
- Care for one another [1 Corinthians 12:25] — because you belong to one body
- Serve one another [Galatians 5:13] — because Jesus served you
- Bear one another’s burdens [Galatians 6:2] — because Christ carried yours
- Be patient with one another [Ephesians 4:2] — because Jesus is patient with you
- Be kind and compassionate to one another [Ephesians 4:32] — because God has been kind to you
- Forgive one another [Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13] — because you have been fully forgiven
- Encourage one another [1 Thessalonians 5:11] — because we all need strengthening
- Build up one another [Romans 14:19] — because Jesus restores, not tears down
- Teach and admonish one another [Colossians 3:16] — because truth leads to growth
- Confess sins to one another [James 5:16] — because healing happens in the light
- Pray for one another [James 5:16] — because we depend on God together
- Love one another [John 13:34-35; Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 5:2; 1 John 3:16] — because Christ loved you and gave His life for you
This is not behavior modification. This is Spirit-formed love shaped by Jesus [Galatians 5:22-23].
Love Is Demonstrated, Not Just Defined
Jesus said, “I have given you an example” [John 13:15].
That room wasn’t peaceful—it was complicated. Pride, comparison, tension… and no one stepped forward to serve. Except Jesus.
Love is not just something we feel—it’s something we do. Especially, when it’s inconvenient, when it’s uncomfortable, or when the person is difficult.
Anyone can love when it’s easy. Jesus loved when it was costly.
A Better Standard of Love
We don’t struggle with loving people in theory. We struggle with loving specific people.
The one who criticizes you.
The one who drains you.
The one who pushes your buttons.
Our instinct is to step back. Jesus stepped in.
Toward Peter (who would deny Him).
Toward the disciples (who would scatter).
Toward Judas (who would betray Him).
And knowing all of that… He still loved them to the end.
Not “love like yourself”… but love like Him.
A Needed Clarification: Boundaries
Loving one another does not mean enabling sin or dysfunction. Jesus loved deeply—but He also:
- withdrew at times [Luke 5:16; Mark 1:35–38]
- confronted sin [John 8:11; Luke 17:3]
- set clear limits [John 2:24; Matthew 10:14]
Jesus did not entrust Himself indiscriminately or allow misuse.
- John 2:23–25 — He did not entrust Himself to people
- Mark 3:9–10 — He set physical boundaries with the crowd
- Matthew 7:6 — He said don’t give what is holy to those who reject it
- Matthew 10:14 — He instructed His followers to shake the dust off your feet (i.e. walk away) when rejected
- Luke 4:28–30 — He walked away from those trying to harm Him
Love is wise—it does not enable abuse, gaslighting, isolation, coercion, destructive criticism, manipulation, or rejection of truth. Healthy love says: “I will move toward you in grace… but I won’t participate in unapologetic hurtful words or unrepentant harmful behavior.”
Boundaries protect love.
LOVE Is Our Witness
Jesus makes it unmistakably clear:
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” [John 13:35].
The world doesn’t first see our theology. It sees our relationships. The way we love each other is the way the world sees Jesus.
This week, loving “one another” might look like:
- staying in a conversation instead of exiting
- choosing patience instead of irritation
- taking a meal to someone who’s hurting
- asking a question instead of making an assumption
- showing up again—even when it’s awkward
- serving someone who has disappointed us
Because real love is not theoretical — it’s personal.
Serving and loving one another doesn’t begin with more effort. We begin here: We love one another because He first served and loved us [John 13:15; 1 John 4:10].
Follow me… as I follow Jesus Christ.